Hey Michael are you connected with this guy Greg, he is a RAM fan.
Telophilia -
http://people.tribe.net/defalt/blog/2fbb1af4-9a21-4880-bc86-846d7bdfb79c Tue, June 10, 2008 - 10:50 AM
1. "Telophilia however is one step beyond that being an empathetic, synergistic relationship of all levels, including soul. These soul-relationships may not include sex but because they amplify kundalini they can be more energetically and intensely intimate and transformative than sexual relationships...
In certain relationships, the level of profound close goodness is so great that any thing that gets in the way of that that is not pure, clear connection will feel incredibly bad to the degree that I will have to amend it or feel almost sick. My partner in this will feel it too. Our inclination is to exit the relationship, or withdraw, or become clingy, but none of those actions work except to cause further pain. The ONLY way out is THROUGH. ... it is spiritually imperative that what has arisen that causes pain is dealt with. Each of us has to take extreme responsibility for our own feelings, and be brutally honest, completely open and non-defensive and able to listen in a space created purposely for the healing."...
It's possible to heal to some degree even if the other person takes no responsibility for their actions or feelings, and wouldn't recognize brutal self-honesty or honesty with the other if it flogged them. It seems to be a partial healing, and in this case exiting the relationship seems to be necessary. Remaining in a relationship where one is compelled to grow and the other chooses to deny is self-destructive - because there is no way through without true communication or interaction. Instead, the "active" partner will feel increasingly isolated, confused, and misunderstood.
Instead of playing in the energy field of mutuality, it becomes yet another exercise in self-absorption. The harder the active partner tries to make sense of the relationship, the deeper they enmesh themselves in their own mind and emotions. At this point, the mismatch in willingness and experience causes the pain. Since we cannot force someone to face us - let alone his or her Self - the only way to actually remove the pain is to let the relationship go.
The danger here is that the active partner will fall into cynicism, or like Diogenes wander the world looking for "one honest man". All that is required, actually, is to recognize that the passive partner has been a catalyst,and by their own choice has refused to engage in the process. If the future of humanity - and by extension, the future of individual humans - is dependent on communication, a relationship of this type is an evolutionary dead end. And while we may mourn the passing of the dodo, it's still extinct.
This leads to other questions - is love a casualty in this? What is the active ex-partner to do? (There are no questions about what the passive ex-partner is to do - because typically they will continue to do nothing real. The odds are they aren't reading this anyway.)
Love is not a casualty. The capacity for love has increased, albeit in a lopsided way. Balancing that is what the active ex-partner will probably engage in. There will be a tendency to deny, reframe, or forget the experience. While it would be preferable to simply accept the disappointment, this can be difficult when the potential was so clear to the active partner.
2 . Following is an outline of the stages of soul relationship but to a certain extent all stages happen at once to varying degrees as well.
1. MEETING
Recognition, initiation, surges of energy in the head and solar plexus, enlivening of the genitals. Enlarging of ones field in relation to the other, heightening of alertness and energy level. Irresistible magnetic pull, constancy of attention and soul urge to be in each others presence.
Greg's NOTE: This is a prime opportunity for denial to rear it's head. While one may pass through fear at this point, refusing to face the reality kills the potential.
2. QUICKENING
Spiritual acceleration, extreme heart opening, purging, purifying, nausea, awe, hope. Clearing, tidying up loose ends, nest building, talking to oneself, physical exercise to absorb tension. Alternating periods of hyperactivity (sympathetic) with heart expanding lethargy (parasympathetic).
Greg's NOTE: Dance. Dance. Dance. Get unconscious. Repeat. Too much repetition will kill the process.
3. RUBBERBANDING
Alternating surrender with periods of sensual indulgence as the ego tries to use and/or suppress the charge. Boundary testing, uncertainty, exploration and resolution of differences. Blowing off the cocoon through compression and expansion.
Greg's NOTE: to compress, descend into the watery depths and increase the emotional pressure. To expand, ascend into the rarefied atmosphere. Watch out for rapture of the deep and oxygen deprivation. The uncertainty is difficult - but certainty here is often an illusion. One can be certain, however, that denial from stage 1 will manifest here and stunt the growth. It's not a cause for uncertainty - it's time to let go.
4. TOLERANCE
Bodymind gains faith, becomes stronger quieter and more peaceful. Learns to protect and allow the intense opening energy cycles of soul-merger. Rewiring to handle the amplified energy and kinesthetic senses.
Greg's NOTE: a particularly challenging stage. Trust your bodymind - it will handle the rewiring, you don't need to direct it.
5. SURRENDER
Attraction to spiritual intimacy as soul increasingly incarnates with the opening of the bodymind. There is a letting go of morbid thoughts and behaviors as trust develops. Eros progressively triumphs over Thanatos.
Greg's NOTE: this is a key stage, and delicate. It will loop back to stages 2 or 3 unless both people are engaged. Continued loopback is a sign that either one or both of the partners are avoiding the process.
6. TRANSPARENCY
Proactive- YES AND Green-lighting Spirit. With conscious joint metamorphic alchemy there is a movement from deprivation states to co-Being. Sympathetic resonance causes the falling away of resistance and strengthens the ability to enjoy love.
Greg's NOTE: the key word in the step 6 description is conscious. Without consciousness, the process devolves into a standard dysfunctional mismatch.
7. SUBSTANTIATION
Maintenance of a mature equilibrium of holding the We Space, while still sustaining full individuation. Potent, creative, cooperative partnership, mature monogamy-(RAM)
Greg's NOTE: while this is the Vision, I can't speak to the Reality
Recent posts
Dilber MC Theme by HarzeM